I've been feeling odd lately. I miss my beautiful friend a month ago. Dealing with this ugly/beautiful world took its toll on her beautiful soul. Its often quite hard to deal with the situations we're born into/life brings us. Usually we push forward as hard as we can to endure with the hope of life getting better. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't, sometimes it stays the same...for a really long time. If you're able to endure through the bad, the good tends to come. It sometimes happens well after you felt it should have.
Often time we'll feel like all is lost. Sometimes the voices in our heads refuse to leave us alone. There are times we feel alone, like no one understands us, no one cares, no one will care. There is always Someone who cares. You may not know that someone well, they may be an 'extra' in the story of your life whereas you may play a larger roll in theirs.
Many people have varying feelings on 'God'. Some believe, some don't. Some pray to saints or relatives who no longer walk on this earth. Some believe in nothing. One thing that tends to help people is prayer or a prayer like meditation. Getting your thoughts out of your head & out into the universe often helps. I've noticed when I was able to really let what i'd kept bound in my head out, it helped me.
I feel like my life might be getting better. My job situation seems to be improving. I have been (barely) surviving over the past few years on a part time job while raising a daughter on my own. Fortunately my mom has been helping out as well. Now I host Karaoke one day a week regularly & do some freelance office work 2 days a week while still maintaining the part time job. I've interviewed for a full time job that seems like it may come through.