Monday, November 26, 2012

Reflections about Raven 12

Here’s something I hadn't thought of before that I’d been hearing all night. Trans-Lesbians. They do not consider themselves crossdressers so…are they interested in things I say, my blog stuff, I mean…I think initially I packaged trans-lesbians in with my straight crossdressers theme, at least in my mind. I guess...whoever decides to read my blog for…whatever reason, be it entertainment or curiosity…anyone can feel free to read it. You don’t have to be a straight crossdresser to read this blog…I guess you just have to be interested…or just really bored with nothing better to do. Either way, Thank You for Reading! :D  I am just about a year and a half in to exploring my interests in crossdressers. There is a lot I don’t know. A lot of psychology, a lot of books I haven’t read, a lot of conferences I haven’t been to. I’ve just really been to websites and parties…do drag shows count? Cause I’ve been to some of them too. I hope I haven’t offended anyone (too harshly if at all) with any of my thoughts. I just hope for one day when anyone can dress in a way that represents who they are regardless of any specified ‘gender rules’. I mean if you wanna boil it down to the biblical…men & women wore dresses way back then. (American) Women (& women in many other lands) wear pants now just as men do and are not thought of as breaking gender rules (yes I know they kinda had to fight for it). Only recently (in America) have men been ‘allowed’ to wear kilts as manly fashion without getting too much flack for it. …ok…I think I’m done. Laterz!

Raven 12 - Utopian Weekend 10-10-12

2 weekends ago was the 12th Raven event Hosted by Jen Bryant at The Raven which has an Award Winning Restaurant with a Bar & Club. This was my 3rd visit to a Raven event. Original plan was to stay for the whole weekend but it turned out that my weekend was kinda double booked (would have been triple booked if i'd attempted to go to Phil-Con which I realized I couldn't do). At Raven 11 Paula and I Went to the Saturday Dinner & Dance Party and Sunday morning Breakfast at the Eagle Diner. This time we went to Sliders Bar & Grill on Friday night...Fashionably late (as takes forever for Paula to get ready) While there we met up with some familiar faces and made a few new friends. I got some yummy food from the bar (and a few drinks) everything was pretty good. We had some pretty awesome discussions as well. We had a discussion with Lisa Empanada (guest writer of this post) about Straight crossdressers. ...Ok...It kinda came up due to a major Faux-Pas which I committed. I mistakenly referred to Paula in the masculine. Something I never do when referring to her know...where I can edit myself when I make a mistake... The thing is, I usually see Paula in guy mode. Also Paula doesn't care if she is referred to in the masculine or feminine. Also knowing we were in the company of ‘like’ individuals I guess I was a lil more lax. I think it has to do with the divide of not really feeling like a girl but enjoying her feminine side. Well...most of it was Lisa asking Paula questions about straight crossdressers. Lisa is a trans-Girl. She identifies as female and doesn't really 'get' people like Paula who...are fine living their male lives but also like to indulge their feminine urges. It was quite interesting hearing the uber masculine things Lisa did before she became Lisa.

I was also surprised...the whole weekend how many of the Gurls were married to women. I was told by one that she considered herself a Trans-Lesbian. She believes if she were born female she'd still be attracted to women. More of the girls were married to women than I expected. I was kinda surprised  I think I'd just grouped trans-lesbians with straight crossdressers...but...I guess technically that's not true even though..I guess physically it's true. I'd always thought to myself that if I were born male that I'd be attracted to females but I was born female and am attracted to males...but I lean towards pretty/androgynous males...or males that dress like females...that look like hot chix when dressed en-fem. :D 

While we were there I told Paula, "Ok, I didn't really plan on coming tonight. I came because you wanted to come. This is a meet & great, so...go meet someone new and make friends." So I had Paula lead the way & I followed. Paula walked up to a gurl neither of us had met before & introduced herself. Her name was Charlene...or was it Charlize  It turns out that she was there because we were there. She is on the same meet-up group that we are in. She noticed that a majority of the girls on the group are way older than us but that Paula and I were around her age. That gave her confidence to come out. (Whoot!) She & Paula exchanged email addys and we all made tentative plans to hang out and see a movie. We hung out with her most the rest of the night. There were a few photo sessions that happened. Jen was posing on a pool table and other girls joined in posing on the pool tables. Even Paula joined in. I took a few shots of Paula on the pool table. Then we took a few shots in the foyer. Then the party continued at The Raven’s dance floor. Our new friend took some pics of Paula & I on the dance floor. I took a lot of pics of our new friend with her camera as well all night. She wasn't ready to have any pics taken by any camera but her own.  We left around 1:30-ish AM and picked up my good friend Jerome from a karaoke party that I couldn't attend due to the meet & greet. He was my stand in for the night with my karaoke host Dr. Thunder (yes we also do parties). We had a sleepover at my house where I got a little sleep.

I woke up a few hours later on Saturday morning. I had a religious assembly to attend from 9am-4pm. Went there and got back to my place around 5pm. Paula had already started getting ready. Jerome was just about ready. I got the rest of Paula’s make-up on her after I finished up the corset that we’d started on Friday (which I didn't mention earlier. Made another duck tape corset, this time w/boning. Paula lost a good deal of weight since we made the first one and it no longer fit properly.) I needed to put/hammer the eyelets into the corset that was nearly permanently attached to Paula the night before (I cut it off of Paula before I went to sleep). I also had to take in Paula’s red dress, she had gotten it online and it was bigger than expected. My mom helped with that by pinning it while on Paula so that I could sew it when I was finished with the corset (yes my mom is also cool with CD’s). I got myself together as quickly as I could. I wore a women’s pinstriped suit with a Black & Gold tie, and we were off. We got there…I think around 7:30PM. We were seated by the fire. Jen’s Official Photographer took a few pictures of us. We got/ate our delicious meals. I had a Manly Meal of Ravioli…Jerome had Chicken cordon blu and Paula had a chicken salad…she couldn't eat much in that corset. We saw some familiar faces from our seats as well. After we were done eating it was time to Party!

I handed the camera duties to my good friend Jerome while I go touch up my make up in the ladies room where I met another lovely lady who is married to a woman. She says when she’s dressed as a girl she feels like a girl. When she’s dressed as a man she feels like a man. I think she said she considers herself a trans-lesbian. I put on my lip color and I was off to dance & have a good time w/o having to worry about taking pics, yay! But, of course…I was a bit shy to start dancing right away…this looks like a job for Liquid Courage!!! Had a bit o’ booze. And did a bit o’ dancing mostly w/ Paula. We met up with our friend from the night before, Charlize (I really need to ask her how she spells her name), and the 3 of us danced a bit. We put what few flyers I had for my blog in Jeromes hat. Looked like a press hat after that. And he was off taking pictures of just about everyone there. At some point I met up with one of my online friends that had come to the previous Raven event but I couldn't find on that day. I saw the many tattoos and saw the face and it was them!!! Chris & her Fiancee, 2 beautiful blondes, I had to get pics with them. I planned on meeting up with them again later but, alas, t’was not to be. I also saw a GG I had chatted with at Raven 11, Maureen, was nice to see her there again & it’s so great that she supports her husband’s crossdressing! I went outside a few times; it was a bit chilly, I was so glad I had decided to wear pants at this Raven event. I sat with Paula and met a new gurl there. I think another Straight CD. We had a nice conversation which I mostly forgot cause I’d been drinking. (I really need to keep a notebook with me at these events so I could write down names and key things to remember.) Jen came and then…and then… I called Lisa, Jen. I’d have been wayyyyyy embarrassed if I were sober (but had I been sober I wouldn’t have made that mistake) But after my sincere apologies and praising her for her grace & beauty she forgave me and came over to have a picture with me. (wow…I had been rubbing Lisa the wrong way a bit too much that weekend) Unfortunately my camera started to act up around that time (I found out later that it was my external flash) so pics from about that time to the end of the night were half blacked out. Thankfully it happened at the end, instead of the beginning of the night. At the end of the night we all drove back to my place because staying locally for the night could get quite pricey. It would have been nice to stay closer and go out to breakfast w/ everyone but…maybe next time. It seemed like everyone had fun.

Monday, November 5, 2012


The end of last month, October, is somewhat of a crossdresser liberation time. The time, where crossdressers can crossdress in relative freedom knowing...they can always just say its a costume... reality thats less than Ideal. People would prefer to dress as they'd like whenever they'd like and not be judged harshly for it. Generally around halloween time is when it happens. Guys dress as girls, girls dress like whores (or atleast its generally acceptable to do so)... and everyone can get away with it with their reputations intact because its a 'costume'.

Which bring me to this year's festivities. I...don't celebrate Halloween, but I do LOVE to dress up in costumes. A friend, a couple of months ago, asked me if I'd come to a party if she had one cause she was scared no one would come due to her being in NJ and most of her invited guests are in Philly. I told her i'd come even if no one else did. She was at least relieved. Since I'm still borrowing Paula's car (long story) I invited Paula as well. I felt compelled to ask if Paula had ever dressed as a girl for Halloween. To which I was somewhat surprised that the answer was No. I got to thinking of some of the other CD's I know...some others have never donned girl gear for halloween as well, they were afraid they'd do or say something and be found out. Yet most of the Men I know have gone girl at least once in their lives for halloween. It's like a rite of passage. So I suggested Paula do so. Paula was apprehensive to do so especially since we were scheduled to go to a party at his friend's house as well but...I can be very convincing. I told Paula I'd dress as a guy, that way there would be less to no suspicion. I'd wear a suit & tie and even don a fakie beard/mustache. Paula agreed after that. ...Turns out his friend's party wound up being in Virginia...was a bit far so we just went to my friend's party. He was a bit relieved knowing he probably wouldn't see any of his friends.

So Saturday October 27th arrived. Paula and I step out to get a few things from a few stores. Paula was in desperate need of flat shoes. Paula found that the womens shoe size that is supposed to be worn is a size 13 and that Payless has that size. My mom told me there was a Payless in a mall near my house and we should try there first. Since we had to go to that same mall anyway to get a new wig we figured we'd try there. We went to the wig store and didn't really see what we were looking for at first. Walked around a bit more and decided on just getting a ponytail extension for the wig Paula already had. We wished we had the wig with us to check if the color was right...but it was. Pebbs is the awesome!!!

Next in search of Payless...which was not in that mall. But we did some browsing in the shops anyway. We came across the Rainbow clothing store. They had some sales so we figured a browse wouldn't hurt. What we found there was pretty awesome! We found a brand new ensemble for Paula there. New shirt, skirt, leggings, jewelry, only thing we didn't find were shoes...which was our next destination. Off we went to Payless to get shoes. We went to one in Delaware...I can't remember the strip mall's name... but it's on Rt 202...the mall that also has a 5 Guys next to a 5 below...coincidence? I think NOT! lol. So we went there and found that Paula did indeed fit a size 13 shoe. Also we found some very nice flats and some wedge heeled shoes that Paula found quite comfortable. I had a coupon for 10% off but the lady who worked the register has a coupon for 30% off that she let us use! Yay! The price for 2 pairs of size 13 shoes were $30...and like 26 cents or something like that... but basically $30!!! So Ladies, if you're looking for shoes sized 13 and below check out Payless. Their website will tell you which stores carry larger sized women's shoes.

Next we stopped by the dollar store. I needed mascara for my fakie beard. I tried to use my brand new Avon Mascara and...well...the bristles are perfect for my lashes but too advanced for my face. What I needed was a cheap mascara wand. At the dollar store I knew i'd find something to suit my purposes. I found a mascara and eyeliner pencil set for $1. I got it in brown/black because black was a bit too dark on me when I tried it out the night before. I also discovered that i'd look horrible w/ a mustache.

Back & the batcave aka my house we set to putting our looks together. Paula got all dolled up, with my help of course, using some new Avon products that I bought from...myself, as well as the Bare Minerals makeup Paula purchased on a previous outing with me (click here for details on that) we got Paula looking Great! All Dolled Up Paula looked like a teenaged girl going to the prom...even though the outfit wasn't traditional prom style. I even put a tiny tiara on Paula's head.

I...looked guyish. I braided my hair back the day before. I put mascara on my brows and below my brows to make them look bigger. I noticed, guy eyebrows are closer to their eyes and girls brows tend to be above the eyes a bit more. I also put mascara in the beard area. Gave myself a chinstrap at least didn't look bad on me. I borrowed a shirt & tie from a friend and wore my younger cousin's dress pants, he and I wear the same size and I borrow his jeans often. I wore my own blazer and my work shoes which are pretty unisex. Then we were off.

Ok so we left the house about an hour after we'd planned...Making Paula look perfect was time consuming. We got to my friend's house about an hour late. Everyone thought our 'costumes' were pretty awesome. I had Made my friend's Elf costume over the week leading to the party between having to work etc. Her costume was lovely as well. Her boyfriend was the wolf man and his twin brother went as...him. lol, at least thats what he told us. It was a fun time. Ended a bit earlier than expected so we went back to philly to Dr. Thunder Karaoke!!! Where I usually co-host. Karaoke that day was at Headhouse on Lombard Street in Philadelphia. We went there I sang a song or two. Met up with some of my friends there as well. Fellow Karaoke Hosts for TNT Karaoke, Ray & Marci. It was fun seeing them there in their costumes. Marci was Storm, from the X-Men. She looked Amazing! and Ray of the guys from KISS...I can't remember which guy...but he was Awesome as well!!! Dr. Thunder was dressed as...Viking Dr. Thunder! Which was also fun.

All in all it was a good night. As I reflected on my look for that night I had come to discover... I am not into looking fully like a guy. I like looking like a girl who is wearing guys clothing. I like my pinstriped suits and my fedoras but I will also wear lipstick & mascara cause thats what I like and how I like to look. Goy Style!


BTW, Below are some Pics. Are there any CD's out there who did dress as a girl for halloween? How's that go? I'd love to hear about it.